I like to run. I understand this is kind of a weird statement, and sometimes it’s not even true. But for today, we’ll say it’s true. I ran my first full marathon in March and my sixth half-marathon in December, and after swearing to myself that I wasn’t going to run long distances for a long, long time, my friend Rachel signed up for a half-marathon and asked me to train with her. Normally, I’d say no. That’s a lie. I have a problem where I like to say yes to everything. But anyway, running with Rachel has turned out to be really fun and provided lots of adventures, which is probably why she posted this to Facebook today:
A few things I’ve learned while half-marathon training with Megan Strange:
1. Do not try to amuse yourself by running exactly on the edge of the trail. This will result in a face-plant and a bloody knee.
2. If a dog startles you, do not jump into oncoming traffic. Cars are in fact the greater risk.
3. Do not be discouraged by the glistening runners lapping you at warp-speed. Just tell yourself they probably aren’t running very far.
4. When the street sign says don’t walk. Don’t. Walk.
These are important life lessons as well. Our runs are always so educational! Also (5.) For optimal entertainment, feel free to discuss things that are your least favorite ever. For example: a. (while passing a dress shop) That is my least favorite dress ever. b. (while passing a girl WALKING in a sports bra with the most ridiculous abs and being flabbergasted that she is WALKING because how on earth do you get abs by WALKING?) That is my least favorite girl ever.
Let me go into further detail about some of these exciting events.
1. Rachel was running on the edge of the trail, because “it seemed like fun,” she said. She fell down and ate it hardcore, which I have done multiple times. Pretty much on a regular basis. Turns out I don’t pick my feet up enough when I run. Probably because I’m really tired from running. Anyway, I acted like nothing really happened, because falling on one’s face while running is a very normal occurrence in my life. Rachel showed appreciation for this and said “It doesn’t hurt and I don’t think there’s a mark.” However when we were at a stoplight a few minutes later, her leg was bleeding and had a huge mark.
2. While on a run yesterday, we heard a dog barking, which was startling enough. BUT THEN, the dog came halfway out from under the gate. I guess he didn’t come all the way out, because he was too fat or something. Unlike Lucy, who has managed to lose a few more ounces. Anyway, Rachel and I ran for our lives into the middle of a busy street, which luckily wasn’t busy at the time, otherwise we would be dead.
3. These people fascinate me, and I admire them for running very fast for even a small length of time. I will run very slow for pretty much any length of time, but I will not really run very fast…at all. Maybe one day. Lucy says it’s dumb to run fast, and that people should focus more on getting more shuteye. Thank you, oh wise one.
4. This is Rachel’s fourth point, because we almost got hit by a car once when we actually weren’t being threatened by a vicious dog. We thought the road looked clear, but turns out cars were coming, and they honked a lot when we ran for our lives past them.