Cupcakes and guilt

I’ve been celebrating turning 25 since Sunday, and I ain’t stoppin’ til next Sunday. I need a full week for this quarter-life crisis celebration.

Took Casey on his date last Saturday since I lost our Fantasy Football matchup. We tried a new place called Natachee’s, because they serve breakfast for dinner (Casey’s fav). I was initially nervous, because Yelp had some pretty bad reviews of the service, but we had zero problemos with our waiter and left with full and happy stomachs. Afterward, I took Casey to an improv comedy show, where we saw The Wizard of Oz: Unscripted. The audience got to choose the “natural disaster” which throws Dorothy and Toto (a donkey, per the audience’s request) out of the strip club (not in Kansas anymore). The guy behind me suggested sharknado, which I was all for until another guy shouted “OBAMACARE!” You can imagine.

Sunday, Casey’s family took me to breakfast at BRC where we ate something called bacon jam…again, you can imagine. Sunday night, my parents had us over for dinner, and my twin brother and I competed for attention the whole night per usual. My mom made us fill out Christmas wish lists during dinner, and Casey wrote “a Republican in office,” which had my parents dubbing him “the best son-in-law ever” by the end of the night, though the competition isn’t all that fierce, seeing as my brothers both date girls.

Monday, I continued celebrating by going for a run after work and falling asleep on the couch at 9:15. Great night.

Tuesday, my actual birthday, is when the real party began. I woke up expecting a red velvet cupcake. Some of you might remember my complaints from last year (though I didn’t blog about it–too sensitive a subject) about not getting a cupcake for my birthday despite that being the only thing I asked for. Granted, Casey was in busy season and barely had time to brush his teeth, but still. Anyway, I’m sure you can imagine how hard of a time I gave him last year for not getting me the cupcake. Lots of sarcastic comments. Lots of pathetic “woe is me” type whining. Etc. You get it.

When I woke up, there were two wrapped presents, and neither of them were shaped like a cupcake. I was disappointed, because I had planned on eating a cupcake for breakfast. So, I get to work, and I walk up to Devin’s office (Devin has been discussed here, here, and here). I then proceed to complain to Devin that Casey has yet AGAIN failed to get me a cupcake. AND HE DIDN’T EVEN GET ME A CARD, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT DEVIN? I know I’m a real treat. Casey is lucky to have me. So I’m in the midst of complaining when Casey calls me and asks me where I am.

“In Devin’s office,” I say.

“I’m in your office,” he says.

Immediate guilt. IMMEDIATE. My whole body just flooding with it. I meet Casey in the lobby where he is standing with a dozen Crave cupcakes AND A CARD. I then come to the conclusion that I am the WORST WIFE EVER, because honestly what a stud. I take him for granted every day. Don’t deserve that kid. But I was glad for the cupcakes, because I had still yet to have breakfast.

My work friends also threw a little shindig complete with a chocolate bomb:

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Magical.

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Anna and Michael joined us for dinner at Uchi, which was DELIGHTFUL as always. And now it’s just regular ol’ Wednesday. 364 days til my next one.

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They made me wear that hat in Uchi during dessert, despite my protests.

For good measure, here are some of the texts I sent to friends after an abundance of Uchi wine:

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Casey also has a video of me describing the different between specialist and special-est and mostly my clarification that special-est isn’t a word and that you should say “most special.”

I hate Fantasy Football and madness

As you can probably reason from the title, I lost my Fantasy Football matchup with Casey this weekend. I was actually only projected to lose by one point, but Casey’s team had a stellar week and got 30 points more than was projected, while mine sucked and got almost 15 points less than projected. Which means:

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Stupid. It’s a stupid game.

I have a date planned out for Saturday already. I started planning Sunday, because Andrew Luck was the only one that had to play Monday, and unless he was going to get me 52 points, I was destined for failure. He ended up scoring seven points, which is ridiculous and not very lucky as his name would suggest. So stupid. Casey was texting my friends about my loss early on. He was pretty confident.

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Everything else about the weekend was good, though. Lots of family time and errand-running.

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That’s my little brother, John. If you follow me on Instagram, you already know my definition of little, but if not, by “little,” I mean full of tattoos and life experiences. John, Casey and I had dinner at my step-brother’s house, which means we dined with these goobers:

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Sunday, we met some friends for breakfast at Lola. One of our newer friends asked if Casey and I lived together before we got married after we had all been discussing the topic, because what else do you talk about at breakfast? I said “No, we did it God’s way.” Because obviously Casey and I are very holy people. Sort of like the pope. But less holy.

I’ve also nick-named Molly “Jesus” because she was resurrected from the dead, which is more evidence that I am super holy. My Catholic friends keep insisting it falls under the category of blasphemy, but I think they just don’t understand how dedicated I am to my faith.

Meanwhile, Lucy has started seriously considering a modeling career.

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She has that pensive-stare-at-the-ground look down pat.

My parents ended our weekend on a good note with these babies:

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Sorry if you’re a vegetarian and that picture offends you. But I’m not really that sorry, because my parents make the best steak in all the land.

 

Cookies and contacts

I packed a salad and some leftover chicken from last night’s dinner for my lunch today. But then Devin wanted to go to Chick-fil-a, so I got a cookie. I planned to split it with Devin, since all those dieting articles suggest splitting desserts if you must have one, and I was at a point where I was like I MUST HAVE A CFA COOKIE. Splitting it with Devin still seemed like a good idea the whole time I was eating my salad and chicken. The cookie was just sitting there next to me waiting to be split in half. But then, and I’m sure you can see where this is going, I took the first bite and immediately felt compelled to eat the whole thing. I said, “Sorry, Devin. I’m going to eat this whole cookie.” And then I did. Sorry, Devin.

Then, my contact in my right eye was bothering me so much that I had to take it out. Turns out only having perfect vision in one eye is more annoying than an annoying contact.

This is my exciting, blog-worthy life. This is why I have only been blogging once or twice a week lately.

Golfing with cats and winking

Casey played golf with the cats this weekend, which I think counts as bonding. But then he also told me that our marriage would improve if we got them declawed. I’m already joining a fantasy football league, like how many sacrifices do I have to make to make this marriage work, ya know? When people say marriage is hard, they mean it. Ain’t no lie.

Saturday morning started with breakfast on our balcony, because the weather was shockingly quite nice.

Then I hung out with some cool kids. Including a Jimmy Neutron look-alike.

RIGHT?

The weekend wrapped up with dinner and Dexter at Anna and Michael’s. Ah, Mondays. You arrive too quickly for me these days.

Socks and golf

Meet Devin.

Devin and I work together, and I felt he should be showcased on today’s blog post because he wears very interesting socks and also extremely purple shirts.

His shoes are also good material for jokes. If you’d like to know more about Devin, here are 3 fast facts:

1. Devin likes to use the phrase “since Nam.” Examples: When Devin is hungry for lunch, he might say “I’m so hungry, because I haven’t eaten since Nam,” or when I ask where his officemate Kevin (these are real rhyming names) is, he might say “Kevin hasn’t worked since Nam.” Even though Kevin is only a couple years older than me. Or when I ask him to remember some of his recent “since Nam” jokes so I can post them to my blog, he says “No, because I haven’t had a good memory since Nam.”

2. Devin blinks a lot. Especially when I tell a joke. He just stares at me and blinks obsessively.

3. When I send out an email describing an upcoming firm event with witty puns such as “Donut Day: You “donut” want to miss it,” Devin is known to respond with “kmn” and “fml.” He also likes to ask me “So uhhhh what would you say you do here?”

When I’m not working, I’m having a great weekend:

1. Indulging in crepes with friends.

2. Going to Top Golf with more friends. However, I must confess I was not nearly as good as I originally hoped. My disappointment is mainly a result of the fact that I have a unique mindset whenever I am about to try something new (in this case, golf). As soon as I know I am about to try something new, I can’t help but wonder if this new thing is going to be my thing. Like maybe I will be such a natural that everyone will wonder how I have never done this thing before, because I am just so good at it the first time. Shortly after discovering my new natural talent, I become famous or professional for it. It has yet to be true, and I really suck at golf.

 

Birthdays and cat vases

My weekend ended with Ryan Lochte, because I couldn’t stop myself. I kind of wish I had stopped myself.

But my weekend began by celebrating my stepdad’s birthday at Lupe’s, because there really is no other place to celebrate a birthday.

His birthday was completed with snickerdoodle cake, of course.

I got to spend Saturday with Sydney. We made dinner, pet cats, and watched TV. Three of our favorite things! For dinner, we tried that famous pin of cauliflower crust pizzas. Yum.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten dinner off of those plates at Sydney’s parents’ house. Good times.

We also drank my cat wine, and now I have a lovely vase complete with a rose from Mr. Stevens’s garden.

Sydney suggested putting it on our patio to avoid discussions with Casey about the abundance of “cat stuff” in our apartment. However, it currently has a place on our kitchen counter.