Long time no talk and Serial

I’m gonna have to sum up the past fifty-million weeks since I haven’t blogged since the beginning of time. Even if I wanted to recount the details of my life the past month plus some time, I probably couldn’t as I’m sure you’re aware if you’ve been listening to Serial like the rest of the world seems to be doing. I finally caught up this weekend, and my drives to and from work have returned a normal routine where I try to suppress road rage and debate sleeping at my office during the week and other big life issues.

First things first, I turned 26, which I believe scientifically means that I have now reached maturity in my brain, so I’ve been waiting to recognize the big change in my thoughts and actions, but so far I’ve detected no change which could either indicate A. that I’ve been mature since the womb or B. I’m delayed.

Regardless, it’s important to note that I spent my birthday weekend with Casey and my parents in California frolicking a half marathon and drinking wine.

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My mom completed her first half marathon, and I was super proud of her despite the fact that she told me at Mile 13 (.1 left in the race) that if Jim and Casey pulled up in the truck right that second, she’d jump in and never regret not finishing. I tried prancercising to boost her mood, but it was to no avail. I did not get the running bug from dear ol’ ma, I suppose.

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Bearded Wonder drank wine which is pretty much a life event for him. I also drank wine, but that’s the most regular occurrence ever in the world, so not worth documenting but already did, sooooo whooooops.

After returning to the H, we had a little celebration at the house where we took some blurry and non-blurry photos with my birthday friend.

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Casey and Kris photograph better together:

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That’s Casey’s face every time Kris is around, because she’s his favorite…ish.

In other news, Tory is making slight progress with cat bonding. By “slight” I mean I got really lucky and took this picture where it looked like she was legitimately trying but actually was probably trying to eat her.

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In bigger more important news, KAITLIN AND OAKLEY ARE ENGAGED! And Oakley was kind enough to let me be present for the big question, so I got to witness her priceless reaction of “OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GOOOOSSSHHHHHHHH.”

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It was magical.

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We ran the Turkey Trot the next morning per Thanksgiving tradition before stuffing our faces at two Thanksgivings each!

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AND THEN after Thanksgiving, the cats got really into the Christmas spirit.

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And Casey grew his beard some more. AND THEN the cats got even more in the Christmas spirit by staring out the window for Santa.

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We haven’t introduced them to Elf on the Shelf yet, because we’re lazy parents, but we do still try to keep the Santa thing going. Who knows how much longer we have before they figure it out?

And, of course, Tory is still a stage 5 clinger.

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But we’re all one big happy family even if our middle child has to hang out in a box.

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Pepper spray and fireball

Lots to say today since I’ve been hosting a (several) moment(s) of silence for no reason besides busyness (typical American excuse)…

Things are pretty much exactly the same as they were when I last wrote.

For instance, Tory still torments Lucy for the hell of it.

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It’s still hilarious.

Lucy and Molly are still a united front against all things dog.

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Tory still struggles to fit her whole tongue in her mouth.

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Abbey still watches silly television programming in our house. We allow it because she pays rent.

While watching Dancing with the Stars this evening:

*announcer announces something that I guess was groundbreaking, revolutionary, etc.*

Abbey: WOW SHOCKINGGGGG

Megan: *type type type as though nothing happened*

Abbey: Megan, I wish you cared a little bit more.

Megan: *type type type as though nothing happened*

 

In recent news and events, it is my birthday week, which I share with both my brothers. Naturally we took the time to pose for a classic family photo complete with inappropriate hand signals courtesy of my twin.

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My younger brother often seduces the camera with his eyes like that…it’s nothing special. Don’t get sucked in, because he has the best girlfriend in the whole world, and I have an unhealthy attachment to their relationship.

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I made them stand there for a good long time while snapping 50-something of these babies.

The highlight was definitely last night at the annual birthday dinner celebration. I was overshadowed often by my brothers (like my childhood. JK, MOM, DON’T FREAK OUT) in conversation, so most of my hilarious one-liners were barely heard by anyone except Casey who politely chuckled to himself and wondered why on earth he didn’t marry ANYONE ANYONE ANYONE else in the entire world.

Evidence below:

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Is he about to laugh or cry? SEE THAT’S THE QUESTION! That’s the face of some serious regret.

He was feeling a whole lot better about the situation BEFORE the dinner.

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See? The dog looks adoringly upon the happy couple whilst they’re photographed in conflicting patterned shirts.

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Overwhelmed with happiness, because he has momentarily forgotten what a dinner with my family is like.

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All jokes aside (but not for long), the dinner was actually PERFECT thanks to my mom’s brilliant birthday-dinner planning skills. She’s done this thing for 26 years, and she’s totally perfected the art. However, she’d still rather show you the side of her head than the front of her face. I can only assume she had a traumatic experience with the paparazzi at some point early in her childhood that made her so terrified of being photographed. NOTE: Matthew, again with the hand signals…

Sentimental gifts were exchanged. I bought my brothers both shirts from their favorite stores. They bought me:

Pepper spray (love, John).

Fireball (love, Matthew).

With my new powers combined, I feel ready to both party all night long and also stop anyone who tries to get in my way.

But, instead I will most likely do what I do best: cuddle with kittens.

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Technology addictions and iPads

This is a little post about parenting from your resident expert aka muah!

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^ Not mine, but I’d take him if I didn’t already have three (VERY) dependents. Carter and his parents came to visit a couple weeks ago, and we made sure to compare him to our kids (some people call them animals, but I’m taking some creative liberties) frequently during the visit. I know you’re not supposed to, and I’ve heard my other friends complain when people compare having pets to having children, but I couldn’t even stop myself. Love you, Carter. And Tory. And Lucy. And Molly.

So anyway, as promised, I have some parenting advice. NEVER give your child an iPad. If Tory is any indication of how REAL technology addiction is, then HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

It all started when I was showing our tenant roommate friend, Abbey, how entertaining the Friskies apps are for the cats. HOWEVER, as soon as I placed the iPad on the floor for the cats, Tory took over. Turns out the Friskies apps are ACTUALLY more entertaining for the dog.

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EXHIBIT A. ADDICTION IS REAL.

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It’s an iPad party.

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Depressed from her technology addiction.

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The iPad had been in the off position for three minutes at the time of this photo. Yet her eyes never moved.

Take me back to the good ol’ days when dogs played outside and had no idea who Steve Jobs was.

Exotic dance and vacuuming

My blog disappeared for a weekend, and the situation caused me so much stress I decided to ignore the blog for a couple weeks. By decided, I mean accidentally neglected.

Plus, this face is kind of a time suck:

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Why would I choose to punch away on the keyboard instead of wrestling her on my new rug?

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Looks like love, but don’t be deceived. She’s actually just plotting her next attack.

We did manage another dog park visit a couple weeks ago, and Tory got to meet Gypsy, Erin’s pup who was adopted coincidentally on the same exact day!

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Taking a selfie with two dogs and two humans is remarkably challenging, but we nailed it after the 107th try.

Basically there’s nothing new around here. The dog still torments the cats. Sometimes by having a stare down on the stairs.

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Casey still vacuums while simultaneously dancing.

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Lucy is still self-involved and sits near portraits of herself.

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We are still obsessed with the dog.

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And I’m still honing my exotic dance skills.

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Just kidding. That’s new.

Gallery wall and sex talks

I feel like my house posts have been lacking a bit since the house is now fully-constructed and we are now living in it. It 100 percent has to do with the fact that now when my house is dirty/messy it’s my fault and not the fault of the people building my house with their bare hands. But I have accomplished a few little things, and thought I’d share.

BUT FIRST, LOOK HOW CUTE:

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We are a teensy bit in love with that face. We have taken her to the dog park a couple of times where she managed to get gang-banged by two much smaller dogs (including Milo). Casey proceeded to lecture Tory that she need not sleep around to be popular. So at least we know his parenting skills are on point for whenever we have human kids and want to warn them about the dangers of going to the dog park.

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Her tongue is definitely her best feature.

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Hey, there ya go! A glimpse of our backyard. Just kidding, it’s not a glimpse. It’s the whole thing!

Here is the dog wall. Lucy has taken it upon herself to make sure Tory knows that all areas of the house belong to her. Even Tory’s crate. Tory also feels defeated by the whole thing.

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Here’s a little sneak peek at our new living room furniture. I’ll have to elaborate on it later, though. I would take pictures of its current state, but Casey is lounging, and there are a couple pairs of shoes where they don’t belong. Can’t have that for the debut!

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Casey’s mom came and helped me with my gallery wall a couple weeks ago, and it has started coming together! She used her excellent teacher skills to trace all my frames and other gallery wall items on butcher paper and then cut them to perfection for us to arrange on the wall.

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We spent a good couple hours arranging and rearranging and making sure everything felt right and balanced.

I then used Command strips to hang the majority of the pieces. As you can see, the pieces that required actual nails are still hung in brown butcher paper, because tools aren’t really my thang.

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I still have picture frames to fill as well, but we have time for that!

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Casey was lecturing Tory (yet again) about the beauty of not eating cats. It was a precious moment for all involved.

More house tour later when I get some good snapshots. Although, I have to admit there isn’t much to see just yet. One room is a cat room, which consists of a desk, plastic bins, unpacked boxes, a cat tower and some cats. And the other is Abbey’s (our temporary tenant/friend) room. Since I’m not sure how Abbey feels about me photographing her room for my mediocre Internet presence, here is a photograph from the weekend when we were living it up (aka talking about how we wanted to either A. go home or B. go to IHOP).

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Dogs and cats

I am about to overload your screen with freakishly cute pet photos all snapped within the last two weeks. If the amount of photos I have taken of my pets are any indication of how many I will take of future human dependents, I’m going to need some more storage on le iPhone, knowwhatiamsayin.

I definitely thought we’d still be in hardcore separation mode with the dog and cats only two weeks in, but we can now happily enjoy the same living space most of the time. However, Tory remains extremely interested in all cat behavior, especially when they sit quietly and ignore her. She likes to stick her face in their fur while they hiss and attempt to scratch her eyes out. Swatting her face appears to have little-to-no effect on her, in fact, I’m tempted to believe she actually enjoys it. I have diagnosed her with the typical youngest sister syndrome — she wants to play with her older sisters at all times. The cats have typical oldest sister syndrome in that they want nothing to do with her at all times.

The important thing, though, is that I no longer wake up in the night with nightmares of Tory devouring the cats as a midnight snack. Though, I did have a dream the other night that Casey and I were in the middle of a little kissing sesh and woke up to Tory licking my lips, so ya win some, ya lose some.

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That tongue is something special, isn’t it?

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“Bonding.”

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“Staying as far away as possible.”

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I do still make time for intense cat cuddling so they’re fully aware that this is still their house, and Tory’s just living in it…forever.

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But I have also taken to carrying Tory around like a toddler.

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And making her homemade snacks.

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