My friend Katie just got a new job as a cops reporter. It’s been a rough first three days, and she’s already had to cover some pretty gruesome stuff. Luckily for her, she has a friend like me who will wish for occupations I have no interest in just to be with her.
She obviously knows that when I hit on people, it’s really charming and not creepy at all.
Lucy: Did you know that contrary to multiple studies and perfectly knowledgeable people that petting cats is actually better for your soul than reading a book? In light of this newly discovered fact, I think you should pay more attention to me and also never read again, because I can’t see your face when you do that, and that really bothers me.